“If I ever left this town, I’d never settle down/I’d just be wandering around, if I ever left this town.”
I hadn’t heard the song (Makin’ Plans by Miranda Lambert) in a long time, but for some reason I let it play when it came on my iPod instead of jumping to my favorite band of the moment. While it is a love song, that line jumped out at me for other reasons.
Since graduating almost two years ago, I’ve been trying to figure out where I wanted to head next. Granted, job opportunities were going to be a factor since I didn’t have the luxury of being able to pick up and move just anywhere on a whim (having a horse will restrict your freedom to do such things from time to time). So, I began looking at places I thought I wanted to live and looked for jobs and careers in those locations.
The problem is, there are so many places I want to go! I would pick one location, research it and then start to talk myself out of it with questions like:
Could I really see yourself living here year round? (I’m a four seasons kind of girl…)
Would I really love the culture or just the idea of it?
Would my family want to visit this location?
Could I stand possibly settling here if I had a really awesome career?
In short, I had analysis paralysis.
In trying to find the perfect location , I was driving myself nuts finding all of it’s imperfections.
I realized what I was really searching for in all of those locations was a sense of belonging.
As I’ve written before, I’ve never felt any particular belonging to the area in which I live. I’ve always had a “grass is greener” on the other side mentality. I’ve wanted a place that truly felt like home.
As I thought about that over the weekend, I was struck by a thought that came through crystal clear: Home is where ever He is.
I had to smile to myself, because it was so simple. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Here I thought I needed to research, research, research all on my own and then make a decision about where to go based on all of my ‘data.’ When all I really needed to do was to turn my attention back to reflecting His qualities and go about my daily business and act at His suggestion.
Several months ago I wrote down a quote I found that sums up the idea of Home perfectly:
“Pilgrim on earth, thy home is heaven; stranger thou art the guest of God.”
Pilgrim. That’s exactly how I have been feeling. A traveller seeking a Home amidst the daily struggles of life. And a guest of God? I can’t imagine a more gracious and loving host.
Always openly heartfelt,